My 4 Tips For Healthy Relationships

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My 4 Tips For Healthy Relationships

Posted 07 Apr 2019

Mind & Body Health

Nicola Beer

My 4 Tips For Healthy Relationships

When you start dating someone that you could see yourself settling down with, the last thing you think could happen is that you’d be too busy with life for one another?

The problem is that we are unable to see or understand what things could become until we have actually experienced it. We feel so in love and all about one another in the beginning that it’s hard to imagine life any other way. And more than this, we cannot begin to imagine that because of being so busy, it can lead to you and your partner drifting from one another.

Those awesome random date nights you had or the impromptu day lounging in bed cuddling can very easily be replaced (and forgotten) when things like work deadlines, household obligations, looking after the children or helping out extended family or friends come into the picture. You and your partner can gradually become too busy for one another and in fact become too busy for your marriage. Think about how busy today’s lifestyles are and it’s not hard to imagine something like this becoming a reality.

Every time you ask someone how they are, you probably hear “yeah good, just really busy.” When people don’t get back to you it’s always been a “super busy time” “I’m manic, hectic, frantic…etc” Let’s be honest, who isn’t busy these days? We make ourselves busy by the routines we impose and filling every last hour with to-do’s… even if they are good to do’s!  

For example, you can also be busy in the pursuit of greater happiness, your individual social media and screen time, exercising, socializing, learning and relaxing routines can often be given priority over time with your loved one, investing in your relationship. Having our own independency as two people in a relationship is positive, but being too busy for one another is the very opposite of this, and can lead to serious deterioration of your relationship. Busy marriages don’t all look the same either. Maybe you are a stay at home mom whose life is occupied with taking care of your little ones while maintaining the house and keeping things afloat. All attention is on the children.

Or maybe you are a husband who goes to work early and comes home late at night, leaving no time for anything to do with your relationship. You could be an entrepreneur juggling your work/kids/life balance while your partner climbs the career ladder and spends long hours working also. You could be looking after your elderly or sick relatives. One or both of you may be preoccupied with an addiction and this is taking over. The point is that you need to be able to commit to your relationships by making time for them; and nourishing them so they can grow stronger.

Here are my 4 tips to keeping your relationships in good health:

1. Remember to take actions daily and weekly to keep the spark alive
Regular date nights and surprising your partner with acts of appreciation can go a long way. So can a simple kiss, hug, song or love note left unexpectedly for them. 

2. Guard your couple alone time
This is especially appropriate if you have children and or busy work schedules. It’s so easy to get caught up in the routine of life but by making that dedicated effort to schedule in the ‘you’ time, you are showing each other and yourself that your love matters.

3. Focus on the positive
If you are the one wanting more attention from partner, communicate this to them, and show your appreciation when it happens. Sometimes when I am counseling couples, I find more often than not they spend time going over all of the negative points versus focusing on the areas to be grateful for. Even when they are with each other, they worry about the fact that it’s not enough time together. If you only get an hour to have dinner, really spend that time connecting. If you or your partner works away make sure the moments you can be together are special, instead of worrying that it could be over soon.

4. Intimacy is important
Make time for this. Have the courage to discuss with each other or a specialist who can help if it is not working.

For help with your relationships or to overcome addictions, I can assist. I have helped many people through an effective program combining counselling, coaching and hypnotherapy that leads to lasting change in your life. You can also download my 7 secrets to fix your marriage podcast.



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Derek says:

1 year 3 weeks ago
Good to know such counsellors for relationships are available locally!

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